His Majesty's Career

Tears of joy welled up in my eyes when I knew that His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand identifies himself also as a translator. I am so happy to know that I can have a same career as His Majesty’s.

I used to be a republican (not with a capital R) and wanted to make Japan into a republic. However, my feeling has changed a lot after knowing about the Maharacha of Thailand...

I first felt awkward about feeling enourmous respect to King Bhumibol welling out from my heart. I still do not know why. I simply cannot help myself from feeling this way.

My warmest congratulations for the Birthday of His Majesty the King Bumibol of Thailand!

Thank you, Mirmo

I am quite embarrassed about confessing that I love Mirmo Zibang, a Japanese cartoon series mainly targeted for girls almost 30 years younger than I. These are certainly not the books for a middle-aged man like me.

But I feel this cartoon has given me so many precious things, let me tell you about this wonderful romantic comedy...

It is indeed a simple story. Kaede (Katie in the English version), an ordinary middle school girl with a pure heart fells in love with a classmate. But another girl called Azumi also likes the boy and she has hell of a lot confidence, which Kaede does not have much.

Both Kaede and Azumi have their partner fairies. While Kaede treats Mirmo, her partner as a close friend, Azumi exploits Yatchi, a ninja fairy like her servant...

I finally found the Thai version of Mirmo. Now I can share Mirmo's happy stories with my wife, too.

Azumi uses Yatchi's magic to keep Kaede away from the boy. Meanwhile, Kaede tries her best to approach the boy without Mirmo's help. She relies on Mirmo's help only when she is in danger...

So it is quite obvious that pure and good Kaede wins the boy's heart at the end...

Kaede and Mirmo are real friends who are in thou-thou relationship. They encourage and heal each other. Now I understand why Mirmo, a prince of fairyland became Kaede's partner. Although Kaede is an ordinary girl, she indeed has a noble heart. Anyway, they make me very happy.

I don't know why but whenever I read or watch Mirmo, I feel so much moved and sometimes even tears of joy well up in my eyes. I feel as if I could meet again a very precious friend after decades...

I guess Mirmo, the royal fairy is helping me to get in touch again with my inner child.

Thank you, Mirmo and Kaede!

A Cat Is a Loner Because...

A cat is a loner but it does not mean she is selfish.

A leopard is a loner, too. Because his hunting style and relatively small size do not allow him to catch a prey that can be shared with other leopards, he has to live alone and hunt alone.

A lioness can catch a large prey that can be shared with her clan members simply because she is so big.

Think about a cat again. She is small and her prey is even smaller. A rat or a sparrow is too small to be shared with other cats even if she wishes... So she has to hunt and live alone.

She is a loner simply because cats' nature does not allow them to be group-dwellers.

And she does not help herself from being lazy as she is purely carnivorous and cannot gain nutrition from virtually any food unlike omnivorous dogs. She is certainly lazy and a loner but it is not due to her choice.

Then anyone cannot blame cat's aloofness or laziness. Well, I guess this might help everyone of us understand our fellow humans, too. Before we label someone as strange or abnormal, we should think his background... If we do this, we may be able to provide him a better choice.

A Horror Exam...

One exam recently exhausted me so much. It was not mine and I was not so much nervous about that in the beginning. It was my six-year-old son's.

He was not nervous about the exam almost at all in the beginning and that made his mother extremely nervous. Since she cannot read any Chinese, she asked me to help him prepare for the exam...under her supervision! That made me extremely nervous.

I suffered from severe fatigue before and during the exam. My body ached so much, too. And these symptoms remained for a whole week even after the exam was over (i.e. until yesterday)...

Well, I will have to find a better way to assist him learn. I am trying to make learning a fun but have not been very successful. (But he is more willing to do his homework when I sit next to him and copy my Thai textbook...)

I don't know if I did so due to the stress from my son's exam, I ordered the first entire set of comic books in my whole life time in the middle of the exam period. I feel quite hesitant about telling all of you what I bought. I bought a 12-volume set of Japanese cartoon called Mirmo Zibang (ミルモでポン！/魔法小米路), a cartoon mainly targeted for the pre-teen to early teenage girls. (Scary, isn't it??)

But this series of cartoons is full of positive-thinking for the Win-Win-Win (Good for me, good for you and good for the world) situation... If you feel lonely or lost, I recommend you to read this series. You might feel happy. The entire series is also available in English from a Singaporean publisher.

Anyway, reading all the 12 volumes of Mirmo in a few hours, I felt Jung was right. Although fairy tales look childish, they certainly help the readers grow...

Why Was School So Boring?

I love to learn new things. Now I spend most of free time to learn Thai as if this cousin of Chinese and Indian languages were my new girlfriend.

I also spare some time to learn psychology, religion and history. I am not as intimate to them as to Thai but they are indeed fascinating friends.

I wonder why I felt those actually very fascinating things so boring at primary and middle schools...

Even though I loved to learn English then, I always felt very sleepy at English classes at school.

I feel when I get an answer to this question, I will be able to provide much better help to my six-year-old son, who feel the school is darn boring.

Any insights?

Meditation through Language-learning

I have hand-copied more than twenty lessons of Manee Reader, a Thai primary school textbook.

Although I still cannot read a Thai newspaper, the exotic Thai scripts are no longer an alien writing system to me. Now I know better that repetition is quite a good way of language acquisition.

And copying at least some of this textbook before going to bed every night has not only made me familiar to this lovely (but awfully complicated) language but also given an opportunity of meditation.

I can empty my mind by concentrating on looking at the text and correctly writing each word of it. This usually frees me from thinking about twenty minutes. And pleasant fatigue from a light work also helps me sleep better.

Now I know why Chinese and Japanese Buddhists love to hand-copy sutras. It is indeed a good Zen meditation. They can free their minds while exposing themselves to the sacred teaching...

And I feel Manee Reader is indeed a sacred text. The stories of happy childhood can provide a safe haven to anyone...

The Ultimate Purpose

I wonder why the Universe created life...

Did it do so just by chance? Maybe.

But I feel the Universe was so lonely without anyone who understood its majesty that it created life.

Then the ultimate purpose of our existence seems to be to understand our Mother Universe.

Then learning is our ultimate purpose...

It sounds exciting...

Feeling lost? Thank God!

When you feel lost,
You are actually standing
In front of a door to
Unlimited potential.

When you feel lost,
You can try turning on
The switch of auto-cruise
Of let it be.

When you feel lost,
You can actually thank God
Because He now allows you
To tap into the rich resource
Of your unconscious mind.

I want to say congratulations
To you for feeling lost...

Burnt Out

Dear all,

I am very much surprised that this blog has had at least a few visitors a day despite extremely slow updates. Thank you!

Well, even though I made several attempts to put something in this space, I could barely write. I have been exhausted these days after my work hours increased a little bit...

I was a bit ashamed of being burnt out just because of one and half hour's work. Even after additional hours, my work hours are not particularly long. So once I lost confidence in my physical and mental strength...

But wait. Even though my work hours extended by less than two hours, my daily output increased at least by 50%! And now I start working at seven in the morning! It is no wonder I burnt out. After finding this out, I feel easier. I can take a rest even when others are still working...

-----------------------------------------------
Thai Update

I am still plunging into Manee Reader, a classic kindergarten Thai-language textbook in most of my free time. I have finished reading the Lesson 21 out of 44 so far. As this textbook gradually introduces Thai alphabets, I can learn the Thai writing system at ease. After a month with Manee, the exotic Thai alphabets have become much less foreign to me...

So I recommend this textbook for anyone who has had hard time learning Thai using other textbooks such as Teach Yourself's.

But the Thai writing system is extremely complicated. When the military coup happened in Bangkok last month, I learned the Thai word for coup; It is patiwat but spelt ptiwati. Bewildering, isn't it? And I still wonder why a word spelt Kinrii (a legendary flying woman) can be pronounced as Kin-na-rii. Learning to read Thai is really nerve-bending...

Still Unwinding...

I have noticed quite a lot people have visited this blog these days. Thank you!

But I am still waiting for something to come out from my finger tips. Maybe it is reaction to my hard work during summer under high fever...

I still need some time to unwind myself and free my soul so that I can write freely.

Well, I have proved that we need to take a good rest while being ill. Health is more important than a job but I often forget it...

People Are Friendlier Now Because...

I am now studying Thai as if I were possessed. I am so much obsessed to read, listen to the online sound files and copy the Web contents of Manee Reader, a mother language textbook once very popular at Thai primary schools, in whatever free time I find.

I don't remember how many times I had tried to learn this southeast Asian language. But I do remember I first picked up a Thai textbook in the early 1997. This time, I failed because I had no strong reason... But, even after I got a stronger reason by marrying a Thai in 1998, my every attempt to learn her language failed.

But it is very different this time. I can quite comfortably cruise through the Website and I have memorised almost all the text up to Lesson 7. I feel it is easy and fun to learn the complicated Thai script. My brain just absorbs so nicely the language that I had always felt indigestible...

I wondered why and found that my impression to Thailand had greatly improved on this summer's trip to Chiang Mai. I felt Thais were friendlier than on my previous trips to the country.

When I said this to my wife, she simply said that it was not that Thais had become friendlier to me but I had become friendlier to them. She added that "You are now much more pleasant person than before. This summer's trip was your first one to my country after you had got rid of bad haemorrhoids..."

I became friednlier to myself so others also became friendlier to me...

Manee Has Eyes, a Crow Has Eyes...

Recently, I have started learning the Thai language seriously. Although I have been married to a Thai for more than eight years, I only know a few northeasestern Thai phrases (actually, these are Lao phrases) so I felt a bit ashamed when I visited Chiang Mai earlier this month. That's the reason why I picked up a children's penmanship book at a bookstore in a northern Thai city...

Thai is really a tough language. Well, it is phonetically easy as I already speak one tonal language (Cantonese dialect of Chinese). The grammar is also very easy as Thai nouns and verbs have no changes, just like Chinese. But I am struggling with its script. It is extremely complicated....

There are more than a few letters that represent the "s" sound. Almost every consonant has at least two letters. Well, it is not entirely irrational as each consonant letter not only represent the consonant value but also tone. But some consonants have more letters than the tones require.... I guess these letters represent the sounds that are different in Pali or Sanskrit but the same in Thai so that the reader can know the origin.

But I am still not defeated by the legion of mighty Thai letters. I want to make it my fourth language (after Japanese, English and Cantonese). Well, I like Thailand so it would not too tough, though...

I am now learning Thai, using an primary school textbook called Manee Reader. It is about a rural Thai girl called Manee and starts with "Manee has eyes, a crow has eyes, the uncle has eyes." Reciting the simple Thai phrases like a fool, I cried. I don't know why.

But I know it is not tears of sorrow but of joy. I guess it is the joy that comes from the hope of growth. Living in a developing country, Thais still have much more dreams than the ones from developed countries... I envy them.

Again From a Newspaper Ad

A huge diamond can naturally make you happy.
But it still does not match
having the heart of compassion in you!

**********************
I love this ad because it does not deny the joy of having a diamond...

A Precious Moment

The following is a theme song from a Japanese romantic comedy anime Mirmo Zibang! （港題”魔法小米路”）Although it is a simple song for children, it has moved me so much. So I want to share it with my poor English translation (please find it below the Japanese original).

プレシャス・モーメント

おろしたての　シャツを着て　歩きだそう
朝のひかり　キラキラと　誘ってる

傷ついた　その分だけ　優しくなれるから
きっと迷った日も　泣いた日も
大切な
宝物

どこにだって　あるような　一日にだって
すてきな
一秒
詰まってる
未来のドア　開いて　さあはじめよう
新しい季節が　待ってる

白い地図の真ん中で誰だって
自分だけの行先を探してる

大丈夫　どんな夜も　明日につづくから
そっと手を伸ばせばいつの日か
輝きを
つかめるよ
遠回りで気づいた　探してた夢は
素直に
ならなきゃ
見えないね
曇り空の下でも　心の中に
いつも太陽抱いてゆこう

***********************************************

A PRECIOUS MOMENT

Let’s start walking, wearing new shirts.
Morning shine is inviting us.

The more we hurt, the kinder we can be to others.
So even the days we felt lost
And even the days we cried
Should be our precious treasures.

Even an ordinary day is filled
With precious moments.
So let’s open up the door to the future
And start walking.
The new season is waiting for us!

On the middle of a blank map
Everyone is looking for his destination.

But don't worry.
Because any night changes into a morning.
Just hold out your arms quietly,
You can touch the glory someday…

We can see the dream we have searched in a long way around,
Only when we are true to ourselves.
So even under the cloudy sky,
Let’s go on walking,
Holding the Sun in our hearts.

From Today's Newspaper Ad

Compassion has no enemy.

Wisdom causes no worry.
- Ven. Shengyan (A Taiwanese Zen master)

Stop Being a Crybaby And Grow Up, Japan!

I guess Japan lost the World War II a bit too comfortably.

She was forced to return all the territories gained through the wars in the modern era. But her torso remained intact, unlike Germany, Korea or Germany.

Japan was air-raided. That killed a lot people, I know. But think about what Russia and China suffered from the war.

Her emperor stayed on the throne. And he even managed to keep the Imperial title even though he lost the imperialist war.

She did not have to pay any compensation to the Allied Powers. Although both China received much much more serious damage from the Japanese brutality, she did not demand Japan to compensate their losses.

Japanese often say that Japan was put under the total control of the United States and was actually mere a U.S. colony after 1945. But the U.S. allowed Japan to maintain her currency undervalued for so long. Japanese were allowed to speak their own language and say whatever they wanted to say, without worrying about making Uncle Sam angry, at least after 1950s. America even kept her market open to Japan until she became rather threatening...

So the U.S. control over Japan was just more like a very humane surveillance to a delinquent high school kid than an oppression. We can see it from Japan's breakneck speed of economic growth under the U.S. umbrella.

What kind of disadvantage did Japan suffer from the U.S. control? It was much looser than in South Korea, South Vietnam, the Philippines and many small Latin nations in the U.S. backyard.

And she was allowed to indulge in an illusion that she was a victim of the WWII. Japanese tried hard to remember about their pain during that war. They tried hard to remember how miserable a war is. That may be a good thing. However, they totally did not care about who the hell started the fire.

It was a big mistake that started to bug Japanese after 1980s when her neighbours started to afford more time to remember about their painful past... While Japanese remembered their past pain in the economic boom that the human kind might have never experience before, China and Korea were suffering from the great divisions, which the WWII - the war they won - had brought them. They haven't achieved the reunification yet!

Actually, Japan has gained indeed helluvalot from the war it started and lost. Japanese do not want to face it.

Stop being a crybaby and grow up, Japan!

強烈抗議小泉拜鬼！

強烈抗議小泉拜鬼！
靖國神社絕不是祈禱和平的地方，而是讚揚日本軍國主義的設施


My strong protest to Japanese premier's visit to Yasukuni Shrine.
The shrine is not a place to pray for ever-lasting peace
but is an institution to praise Japanese military aggression.

Remember, Japanese preimier's visit to Yasukuni is also a horrible insult to the Allies, especially to the United States.

發高燒了

發高燒了。即使體溫差不多四十度，有今天要寫完的報告...

吃藥，退一點燒就著出擊，寫一個鐘頭左右，發燒到甚麼都想不到便撤退，好像是攻擊非常非常堅固的城堡...

不知明天怎樣但。現在想的只是休息...

祝我好快好番啦！

High Fever

I caught a flu and can barely write anything under a near 40-degree fever...

Please wish me get well soon. I know your wishes, prayers or hopes help me a lot! And wishing someone get well will help you live more happily.

Thank you!

Maestro

Today's sell-off comes from the buying spree some time before.

Today's low comes from the unreasonable high some time before.

A recession comes from the irrational exuberance some time before.

We know that quite well but we hate to control exuberance. It makes us feel soo good! And that often ends up with us trying very hard to stop the slip of anything (except our weights)...

Many of us fight depression. It is a very tough job. But it may be much easier to handle if we are aware that depression is just a pullback from the previous irrational exuberance. Anyway, it is much easier to check the upside of anything that is going up (again, except our weights) than to keep something from slipping. Both economies and our psyches seem to be subject to the law of gravity...

Maybe we can learn a lot from Mr. Alan Greenspan about maintaining our mental health. His art of steering of the U.S. economy to the middle-of-way would make us maestri of peace of mind...

Smile And Just Think About...

A distress sticks to you
While you tries to get rid of it.

If you really want to get rid of what bugs you,
Just walk away from it and smile.
Then think about how you can make
Yourself and everyone else happy.

A distress sticks to you
While you tries to get rid of it
Because it is in the centre of your thought.

So smile and just think about
How you can make everyone happy.

Her Flag and Her Monarch

All the Thai towns we visited this time (Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai and Mai Sai) were flooded with the national flags and pictures of Thai king. It is because this year is the 60th anniversary of the King's enthronement.

And His Majesty's recent hospitalisation for a surgery made people display more flags and portraits to express their wish that the beloved monarch get well soon... (His Majesty was released from the hospital on 4 August.)

Many families hoisted at the gates of their homes small tricolour national flags and yellow flags to commemorate the 60th anniversary of their king's accession to the throne. And many large companies, hotels and universities displayed gigantic royal portraits. Thais love their flag and monarch so much.

The flags and royal portraits were so ubiquitous and their numbers so bewildering. I haven't seen any other country filled with so many of her national flags. Well, I guess it is only matched by some parts of Taipei, especially around the government offices that lost much significance in the past decade under Lee Teng-hui's de-Chinification of Taiwan...

I somewhat envied that Thais can so frankly profess their love to their flag and the king. You can walk around a Japanese town without spotting one Japanese flag. Even if you visit one hundred families there, you will not find even a portrait of present emperor. Japanese feel so ambivalent to their flag and their emperor.

It made me wonder why and reminded me that the Thai king dethroned himself after Thailand lost the World War II as an Axis nation and let his son, who headed the Thai government-in-exile in the United States, succeed the throne. This nominal coup freed Thailand from her burden of being a friend of Japan, the major Axis power.

It may be the reason why Thais' attitude to their national flag and king very different from that of Japanese... But I still am nore very sure. I guess the bewildering number of Thai flags and the portrait of the King has given me an interesting homework...

I Am Back!

I flew back from Thailand to Hong Kong a few hours before...

Although I am still tired and do not feel like writing much, I share a few of my favourite photos that I took during the trip to northern Thailand...


A "Long Neck" Akha tribe girl near Chiang Rai.


Although I managed to step onto the territory of one of the most seclusive countries in Asia, I failed to be admitted to it. My guide said that a high-ranking Myanmarese military official was visiting the border town and security was much tighter than usual... I suspect it was related to Caretaker Prime Minister Thaksin's sudden visit to Burma.


Many Buddhist temples in Thailand are de-facto sanctuaries of ownerless dogs...

去旅行啦

去旅行啦～～～！

過去兩年半第一次出國，有緊張喎。

一家大細三口旅行都執番o黎，
已經準備好喇！

但係，我哋都冇乜特徵，
有怕巨大機場好難搵。

所以我向我老婆大人建議，
上貼好核突圖案，
怕醜到冇人會走...


於是，建議三個上貼
梁進『魚肉燒賣』圖案。
魚肉燒賣叔叔FAN屎我仔好開心，
但被夫人嬲....

我星期六夜晚先返香港，
所以呢個網誌都休息一個星期。

The Most Annoying One?

I often felt annoyed about the people who dared to do what I would not do.

But actually what they did were very tiny things. They simply set off the moral alert inside me that "Why do they dare to do while I am enduring the pain?"

However, the only reason why I endured the pain was my moral pride. I just wanted to feel "I am better than they." We try to keep our pride to feel good but this pride often betrays us by making us furious.

I am less annoyed by anyone these days. By allowing me to do the little mischief I did not dare to do before, I feel much freer and it is much easier for me to understand my former offenders.

I only kept moral pride so that I could cover up the war that was going within me. I do not need such pride anymore after signing a truce with myself. Then it is a lot easier to behave as I want without being naughty...

Actually, the most annoying one to me was myself...

-------------------------------------
I will be away from my PC for a week from tomorrow. I'll be on a vacation in the Golden Triangle, northern Thailand...

Judge Not

A judgment hardens anyone's heart.
It will hardly calms down an angry heart.
It will hardly make a lazy one diligent.
It'll give you neither a good student nor a good colleague.

When you feel like judging someone,
just invite her for a cup of tea or coffee
and just have a friendly chat.

I know what she wants is not another criticism
but a friend who is willing to listen to her heart,
with which even she herself is out of touch...

Misbehaviour is usually a cry for help, not a curse.
Before it turns into a real curse, be a friend with her.

Yes! Magazine

晚上去執垃圾，每次見到Yes! Magazine（香港一本teen雜誌）就執番黎，不知不覺已經有幾本喇。我唔怕人哋在我房搵到幾本鹹書，但卻怕被人知我 （一個卅幾歲叔叔）隱藏幾本Yes! Magazine…

而封面女郎全部都係Fiona薛凱琪… -_-; 連我自己都唔知過我咁鍾易佢。

發覺到自己鍾意Fiona，少少驚，因為我覺得鍾意佢就可能代表，我係個隱性金魚佬… 所以我諗～諗～諗～Fiona乜咁吸引…

答案係好簡單。就係佢眼睛。雖然佢好似係個乖乖、聽話玉女，但佢眼睛好有力量，而好似好貪玩。咁樣女仔好似係貓貓咁好難以控制。

呢幅相Fiona少少似日本AV女郎...

已家我知道呢件事，好放心喇。

我冇想過控制個女仔。容易受到控制女仔好悶，令我發癲…

不過，唔鍾意容易控制到女仔，係唔係我唔係金魚佬證明呢？

Where Am I?

But stepping back just a bit, I can see an entirely different picture...

懶人成功術

少時老人常言「以勤補拙」，「成功靠99%努力和1% 天份」，等這些話言在耳邊起繭後，仍然沒有絲毫勤勞的跡象。算了，天生我才必有用，懶人也有懶人的處世方式，不過仍然對「成功」兩個字有無限的憧憬，一看「懶人成功術」，禁不住四眼發光，鼓起那股勤勁「刨」起來。

作者開宗明義地說道：人應當「聰明的工作而不是努力的工作」，那些「懶惰的成功者」才真正會工作、會生活的人，也才是真正意義上的成功者。

甚麼才是「懶惰的成功者」呢？首先得從如何界定「成功」談起。作者指出，現在社會所定義的「成功」，都是以「名望和財富」作為標準的，而這種成功往往需要人們在身心健康、家庭、社會生活以及個人自由方面付出遠遠高於你想要付出的代價。當你登上自以為成功的巔峰回過頭一看，常人輕易就能夠享受的那種豐富、輕鬆、快樂和富有創造活力的生活，自己卻幾乎一無所有。這究竟是成功還是失敗呢？要成為「懶惰的成功者」，作者的貼士是：

1. 不該懶惰的時候不能懶，該懶的時候則要懶，張弛有度，一切以效率為轉移。懶人成功的核心秘訣只有一條，那就是高效率的工作，用4小時完成別人14小時才能完成的任務。

2. 選擇做自己擅長的事情，為自己喜歡的事情工作而不是單單為了追求一份高收入。只要熱愛自己所從事的職業才可能有高效率的動力，也才能體會真正的滿足與快樂。

3. 具備創造性思維。一個人的思維愈具有創造性，就愈不用完全依靠努力工作來取得成功，創造性是懶人成功的基本要素。

4. 認清金錢的真相，不要把賺錢當作人生的唯一目標。金錢只是幫助自己成功的一種工具，而不是目的，擺脫金錢的束縛可以解放人的創造活力。與單純為了錢才從事某種職業的人相比，從長遠觀點看，享受自己所從事的工作的人最終能賺到更多錢。

5. 善於分配和利用時間，遵循「80-20法則」（即一切工作的效率的前80%來源於工作者時間和精力的前20%），尋找最有效的成功途徑。

書名：The Lazy Person’s Guide to Success: How to Get What You Want Without Killing Yourself for It

作者：Ernie Zelinski

出版社：Ten Speed Press

撰文：劉奇明

來自於香港經濟日報(2005年4月27日)

Me, Tomorrow (I Hope)

An Avant-garde Japanese Poem

Even though it is the hottest time here in Hong Kong, my creativity is sleeping like this very short poem...

I hope this black dot start moving soon like a bear coming out of hibernation and grow into my own words...

Me, now...

A Tough Time with Miss Universe

I tried hard to figure out what was particularly beautiful about the new Miss Universe and other contestants. But I failed.

Looking at a picture of these tall ladies unformly with heavy makeups and unnaturally large mouths, I wondered if I had a twisted sense of beauty. Because I found none of them particularly beautiful.

The word I came up with those ladies was plastic. They simply looked so unnatural.

Well, I feel the same way whenever I see the pictures of party celebs on a newspaper or a magazine. They look so unreal and intimidating.

I am sure someone would tell me that I am not normal because I cannot find beauty in whom or what many people find beautiful.

But the sense of beauty is highly subjective. I feel that conforming such a basic sense to the mass or so-called authorities may be the beginning of loss of my freedom...

Ten Years

I settled in Hong Kong today ten years ago (23 June 1996). Well, I am not surprised that I have been in this former British colony for ten years as I fell in love with her when I visited her for the first time in 1995.

My first visa to Hong Kong issued by British Embassy, Tokyo ten years ago.
I came to Hong Kong just a year before its handover from the U.K. to China.

But I am surprised by how distant my former home has become. I have not been back in Japan already for five years so far. Although I recently planned to go back there for a short visit, I decided not to go because I could feel any familiarity to the country anymore. It is already not a country where I can go back but more like a foreign country...

Well, I felt I was back when my plane landed on Hong Kong International Airport after my last visit to Japan in the summer of 2001. It was two years before I beame the citizen of this city.

Tears well up in my eyes whenever I look back my past ten years in Hong Kong.

I covered the entrance of the People's Liberation Army to the last British colony in Asia few hours before her handover to China (at 9:00 p.m. on 30 June 1997) as a reporter.

Then I got an opportunity to support Hong Kong Special Administrative Region (SAR) government midst of the Asian Financial Crisis in 1998 again as a reporter. Writing about the SAR's ability and determination to maintain Hong Kong dollar's stability, I felt as if I had been a war correspondent. I started to identify as a Hong Konger-to-be that time.

But nothing makes me cry more than the memories from the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) crisis of 2003. The epidemic of this mystery disease depressed the entire city. But the courage of heroic medical workers and kindness of Hong Kong people under the crisis made me love this city even more...

I was granted the permanent residency, the quasi-citizenship, of SAR after the worst crisis she had ever experienced after her liberation from the Japanese occupation in 1945.

So now I feel Hong Kong is the only place for me to go back, if I go out of it. Well, then I should have written this in Chinese, though...

Midori's Gravity

Thank you Marley and Anna for commenting to my post about Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood.

I always see both Naoko and Midori (the wild girl) equally as persons but of extremely different roles. As I was in a situation extremely similar to this novel's more than a decade ago, I cannot reduce a real person to just an experience.

I see Naoko (that means a honest or straightforward girl) as a symbol of a closed and self-completed world. It is beautiful but when boys and girls become men and women, this world is almost destined to collapse, at least in the modern society.

But Kizuki, Naoko's first boyfriend could not bear this transition and killed himself at 17. And Naoko followed his suit a few years later. Both failed in the modern initiation that is much, much subtler than that of traditional society. Maybe they would not have had to leave this world prematurely if they had been born in a pre-modern society as preservation of how the way things are have a greater significance than the establishment of self there.

As Kizuki was his only friend, Watanabe had a longing (perhaps unconsciously) of this beautiful closed world. So he tried to take care of Naoko. But he was a much more modern, independent person than his two friends. As a result, Naoko left this world but he stayed.

Midori (that means green and represents life) is also a very independent person. Her parents died before she graduated from university and she had to take responsibility in discharging her dead father's bookstore business. She found her ideal boyfriend in Watanabe (quite unconsciously) and tried to pull him out from the closed world of the past (again, unconsciously).

I guess her strong sexual drive is a symbol of life. She is a representation of Eros that is life-energy, while Naoko is of Thanatos, the death-energy. (Talks about the contrast between these two energies were so popular among Japanese intellectuals in the 1980s when Japan experienced the last economic boom after 1945.)

So Midori dragged Watanabe out to the world. Because he had to face the open and unfamiliar world in order to go on living...

I love Midori better than Naoko because I want to see my world going unfolded. But Naoko seems to be more popular among the Japanese readers. (Is it due to Japanese glorification of death? Or is it because of nostalgia about the pre-modern society, which enabled Japan's economic growth into the 1980s?) It seems to be the same in Taiwan. (Maybe it's the same in the westen world as the girls on the English versions' covers should definitely meant to be Naoko.)

However, in the mainland China, readers love Midori much more. She represents hope and future. In a country whose economy grows more than 10% a year, Midori is definitely more real than the ghastly Naoko...

-------------------------------------------
P.S.
I am still working after Friday midnight... It's almost the fate of a freelance writer/translator. I feel a bit nostalgic about my employed past when I had to do thing but enjoy in the Friday/Saturday nights...

香港SOHO工作的隱形重大問題！

雖然SOHO是一個很舒適的工作方式，但我一直到昨天想不起香港在家工作之一個隱形的重大問題！

香港人太喜歡裝修，常常在同一棟樓內，最少在一間房做裝修，換牆、換地板、換馬桶，好鬼噪呀！連女友不停說也忍不住話的劉浩龍一定會發癲…

昨天我間房上面開始拆牆和地板，噪到連我腦中思考的聲音也聽不到，不記得自己要寫甚麼，打了「轟轟轟」三個字…唉，有排捱…慘！

Challenging Naoko

I have been blankly pondering about a part from Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Woods these days. I do not remember which chapter.

I just remember the dialogue between Watanabe, the main character of the novel and Naoko, his quasi-girl friend who is in a mental asylum.

He tells Naoko that she can solve her problem -not getting moist despite her desire to make love - by relaxing.

But Naoko says that she is afraid that she would be disintegrated and blown by wind if she quit the efforts to keep her integrity.

Watanabe tells her that her that problem is mental so she can overcome it.

She angrily replies to him that all her problems are mental.

Well, she has a belief that she'd lose her integrity if she relaxed. And this seems to be the major cause of her sufferings. She is to hang herself later...

No one knows what happens if she can relax. She just keeps the fear without any ground. Too bad that nobody around her knows how to challenge her limiting thoughts.

Too bad that Watanabe or anyone close to her does not ask her "Who said that?" "What exactly does 'disintegrate' mean?" or "How will you disintegrate and be blown away by the wind? Will you really turn into dust just by relaxing?"

She has just confused a metaphor and what would really happen. We tend to equate two things that would not form an equation without a lot crooked thoughts. I guess if Watanabe knew this, she would not have to end her own life...

I have no idea why I have been pondering this. Perhaps someone is in need of this kind of help now...

I wonder why this publisher uses the advertisement pictures from the 1930s Shanghai for the works of the modern Japanese novelist... It is very very weird.

Delirium Continues!

This one has been inspired by the signs (Noshi) printed on many Japanese gift wrappers.

我想有個窩

　我今天偶然遇到這首很令人感動的歌。
偏愛貓的我，不知不覺落淚了。
我衷心希望世界的小貓和
其他寵物都有溫暖的窩...

《我想有個窩》
K娃
（建議用新視窗開啟這個Flash連結）

我想要有個窩
一個能吃頓飽飯的地方
可是每天的饑餓總糾纏我美麗的夢

我想要有個窩
一個能睡個好覺的地方
那樣寒冬來臨的時候 我就不用害怕

我想要有個窩
可輪也不會輪到我
因為我只是一隻流浪的小貓

這個城市太繁華
我只渴望有個家
這樣的要求算不算太高

雖然我沒有高貴的爸媽
但是我一樣慢慢地長大
滿街飛旋的車輪，多麼的可怕
我們不知道，明天會發生什麼

雖然被危險緊緊地包圍
但是我學會勇敢地面對
但願世界充滿愛，人們會關懷
相同的生命，不同的命運

讓我擁有一個窩
我想要有個窩
一個能吃到東西的地方
那裏一定不會像垃圾桶裏那麼的髒

我想要有個窩
一個能找到溫暖的地方
可以不用睡在汽車下面那危險的床

我想要有個窩
可何時才能找到它
或許我真的沒有那種命吧

這個城市那麼大
小小我卻容不下
我只能認真面對我的一生

我們的生命是那麼渺小
我們的命運也微不足道
面對無情的追打，殘忍的虐殺
我們不知道究竟做錯了什麼

在萬戶千家團圓的夜晚
你可曾聽見我們的呼喊
但願世界充滿愛，人們會關懷
相同的生命，不同的命運
讓我擁有一個窩

冬天就要過去了
春天馬上就來了
我想我也會有個窩的……

世上只有

今天參加我兒子的幼稚園畢業禮。其主題歌之一，容祖兒的「世上只有」真好聽。我愛上廣東話世界到移民來香港，其一原因就是甜美的廣東歌。

想不到幼稚園的畢業禮是這麼隆重的...連自己兒子的面也看不到

這個月，我遷居香港剛剛十年了。我兒子也這個月畢業本地幼稚園，快將入讀本地中文小學。看著畢業禮、聽著這首甜美而表達深情的歌，覺得香港已經是我第一個家…

世上只有
作曲：陳光榮
填詞：黃偉文

望著你講　也許更易　濃於水的三個字
從我降世　一開始　到永遠　不休止
你亦是我支柱　動力和意義

You make me cry, make me smile,
Make me feel the love is true
謝謝你的關顧　與及無償的愛護
年月漫漫　多艱苦　你也永遠優先擔心我喜惡
唯恐我並未得到　最貼身保護 Oh I love you!

但是我知　你都有夢　仍將一生給我用
全個世界　幾多種　愛與愛　在互動
也未及這種愛　能完全獻奉

Yes I do, I always do

Make me cry, make me smile,
Make me feel the love is true

謝謝你的看顧　與歷年來的愛護
年月漫漫　多艱苦　我再重也不肯拋低我不顧
從不會立下私心　怕會給辜負 Oh I love you!

Yes I love you, I always to...

今天另一首主題歌也很好。羅文的「獅子山下」。雖然「東方之珠」好像有「非正式香港區歌」的地位，其在香港的地位遠遠比不上「獅子山下」。（普通話嘛！）我覺得「獅子山下」就是事實上的「香港區歌」。

Cha Siu Bao & Siu Mai

I tried to express myself in a very different way today...

Focus on the Light

Focus.
And you'll see what you want to see.

Tune in.
And you'll hear what you want to hear.

Ask specifically.
And you'll get what you want.

A strong hope to forget will only
Make you focus on what you don't want.

A strong hope to avoid will only
Bring you closer to what you don't want.

So just focus on what you want.

So just focus on the Light.
Then horrible demons would change into
Resourceful daemons who show you the way
Or playful pokémons that entertain you.

So just focus on the True Light!

A Pride in Pure Luck?

Maybe the achievements of my efforts are merely like a herd of penguins dancing on a gigantic iceberg of luck...

A rather strange thought came up to my mind yesterday. Am I better than a beggar I saw recently near the railway station in my neighbourhood?

This slim man covered by filth kowtowed furiously to attract passers-by’s attention. He had no leg. I guess he was a migrant beggar from the mainland China, probably taken to Hong Kong by the mafia. Although I felt pity, I passed by without dropping a penny.

I am sure I am better off than this guy without legs. I have a family, a home, skills to earn decent income and quite a good educational background. My agents and clients are happy with my work. I am more needed. But this does not mean I am better.

The very foundation of my being is just a bewilderingly long chain of chances. I was just lucky enough to be born to a decent couple in a relatively affluent country at a peacetime.

I only happened to get these conditions. I might have been born to an illiterate couple in a very poor mountain minority village in Guizhou province, China. That I was not born there was just by pure luck.

Well, I have made a lot of efforts to make myself marketable in labour market and attractive to the opposite sex. But these efforts are merely a herd little penguins dancing on a gigantic iceberg of luck...

Taking all these things into consideration, I simply cannot think that I am better than anyone. Anyway, a pride in luck is an extremely unenlightened thing.

I had a difficulty in understanding what A Course In Miracles means with the word specialness until yesterday. But I know it now. This kind of pride is the foundation of the belief in separation and is the source of our suffering…

Grapefruit

Among all the fruits, my most favourite is a grapefruit.

When I peel it, I can enjoy its excellent fragrance that clears my mind.

Its sourness refreshes me. Its sweetness gives me energy. And its bitterness clears up my ever-dizzy. I love its zest that straightens me up.

But because of this zest, I could not eat a grapefruit for many years until recently. I used to have a very serious disease and my body simply could not accept any zesty food.

So what I could do was just to scratch the grapefruit peel, enjoy the smell for a while and then give it to someone else.

Now I can eat a grapefruit without worrying any horrible pain. And this big zesty fruit always reminds me how precious the health is...

Although loss of privilege would not hurt me a lot, loss of simple things that has been taken granted does. Being able to eat a grapefruit was definitely one of these things for me.

And eating a grapefruit always reminds me of the avatar of my moon goddess... Her pure and smiling eyes helped me a lot heal the horrible long-time disease.

Thank you, my sweet goddess!

(photo by Peter Yokoyama)

For everything there is a season...

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.(Ecclesiastes 3:1, NRSV)

I strongly feel this verse is true especially when I read a book. My mind seems to know the right time when a particular book should be read.

I feel it now with a book about Chinese history and the Chinese translation of Milan Kundera's Unbearable Lightness of Being.

Although both have very simple structures, I once found these books awfully tough to read on. So they stayed on a bookshelf at near mint condition for more than a year until recently. Their time had not come yet…

However, I now find both extremely easy to read and quite hard to put down. And I wrote a story about the totalitarian Qin Dynasty and the Taoism of the early Han Dynasty to help a depressed friend of mine. So I think I picked up this history book again at a right time.

Although I still do not know how Kundera's book will help me, I am sure I am reading it at the right time. The novel will help me solve my own or my friend's problems somehow, sometime later.

I am very curious how it is so. But I will simply go on reading these books now because I know they are relevant to me now.

Chinese would say there is yuanfen 緣份 between me and these books. Even though the word can be translated into fate or destiny, I feel it is much gentler and softer bond brought by the forces of nature. I guess it is very close to Carl G. Jung's Synchronicity.

I don't know how it works but I know it is here always connecting me to the things and people who can lead me to enlightenment...

I Love Pretending to Be a Fool

I love pretending to be a fool.
With my mouth agape and my eyes looking 45 degrees upward,
Relaxing my shoulders, hips and knees like a chimp,
I know I would not look cool at all
But it’s relaxing and comfortable, anyway!

Pretending to be handsome, I need money and time. Moreover I will have to care about what others would think about me. Not very easy.
But pretending to be a fool, I don’t have to wear suits, don’t have spend money. Actually it’s very economical and might be even very ecological!

Pretending to be smart, I have to worry because I am supposed to know anything including what I have absolutely no idea about.
But pretending to be a fool, I don’t have to worry about complicated question because no one would ask me.

Pretending to be smart, I’ll be in a big trouble if my productivity is low. I have to make efforts all the time. It’s very tiring.
But pretending to be a fool, I can create a miracle with average productivity. And I don’t have to worry much about my productivity is low.

Pretending to be smart, it’s not easy to express any emotions. Pressure would build up so easily that I would soon go mad.
But pretending to be a fool, I can laugh or cry anytime anywhere I like. I can release negative emotions so easily.

Pretending to be smart, I impose on my self the limitations from traditions, common sense or rules. I am not very free.
But pretending to be a fool, I can think free-style. I would be able to come up with a breakthrough so easily!

Pretending to be smart, accepting bondage, I would look like a Confucian or a Protestant. I could be so modern that I am utterly outdated.
But pretending to be a fool, I can wander around freely and would look like a Taoist. I am so post-modern and so avant-garde!

Actually, pretending to be a fool might be very cool!

Pretending to be smart, I will always hear Ego’s criticisms and have to think what others would think about me.
But pretending to be a fool, I can easily hear my True Self’s blessings so I would be always very happy.

But Ego tells me pretending to be a fool is very indecent so it’s actually not very easy.
I really hope that I can more easily be a fool.
Actually, pretending to be a fool needs some practice…

(Translation from Cantonese version)

我鍾意扮傻

我鍾意扮傻。
開住口仔，眼仔睇住四十五度上邊，
好似猩猩仔放鬆膊頭、腰同腳，
雖然確實一都唔有型，
但最緊要好輕鬆、好舒服！

扮靚要花錢、花時間，而且要理人地諗乜，其實好麻煩。
但扮傻，唔駛著西裝，唔駛使錢，其實好慳錢，而且可能好環保！

扮聰明，要扮自己完全唔明都知道，成日要怕。
但扮傻，唔駛怕複雜問題，因為根本冇人會問我。

扮聰明，工作效率低，會被大家討厭，成日要努力，會好。
但扮傻，工作效率一般，已經係奇蹟，差少少都唔駛怕。

扮聰明，咩情緒都冇咁容易表出，好容易蓄積壓力，會發癲。
但扮傻，隨時隨地可以笑，可以喊，可容易釋放負面情緒。

扮聰明，成日都要受到傳統、常識、規矩限制，好唔自由。
但扮傻，做到諗乜都得自由型游泳思考，好容易得到突破！

扮聰明，甘受束縛，好似儒家、基督徒，好現代、好落後。
但扮傻，飄來飄去好自由，好似道家，好後現代、好先進！

其實，扮傻幾有型！

扮聰明，成日都要聽小我批評、要諗人地點樣諗。
但扮傻，好容易聽到真我祝福，會成日都好開心！

但係，小我大聲話扮傻好怕醜，冇咁容易扮傻。
我希望，我更加容易扮傻到。
其實，扮傻都要修煉…

BAKING A DREAM

WHEN YOU BAKE BREAD WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER KNEADING THE DOUGH AND ADDING YEAST TO IT AND COVERING THE DOUGH WITH A MOIST TOWEL? DO YOU LIFT THE TOWEL ONCE EVERY MINUTE POKE THE DOUGH TO URGE IT TO RISE FASTER? IF YOU DO SUCH A THING YOU MAY GET UNLEAVENED BREAD WITH YEAST.

WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER PUTTING THE DOUGH IN AN OVEN? DO YOU OPEN THE OVEN COVER ONCE EVERY MINUTE AND MOVE THE DOUGH AROUND TO URGE IT TO BE BAKED FASTER? IF YOU DO SUCH A THING THE OVEN MAY COOL DOWN AND SPOIL YOUR BREAD.

WHAT YOU CAN DO IS TO KNEAD THE DOUGH AND ADD YEAST. LEAVENING THE DOUGH IS NOT YOUR BUT THE YEAST’S JOB SO YOU CAN LEAVE THE DOUGH ALONE. I BELIEVE THE YEAST WANTS TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE IT ALONE.

WHAT YOU CAN DO AFTER THE DOUGH RISES IS NOT TO BAKE IT BUT PUT IT INTO AN OVEN. BAKING IT IS NOT YOUR BUT THE OVEN’S JOB SO YOU CAN LEAVE THE OVEN ALONE AFTER PUTTING THE DOUGH INTO IT. I BELIEVE THE OVEN WANTS TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE IT ALONE.

YOU CAN MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE IN ALMOST THE SAME WAY. AFTER DECIDING THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAM LET THE YEAST OF YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND TO LEAVEN IT. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE UNTIL THE DOUGH OF YOUR DREAM RISES. AFTER YOUR DREAM RISES LET THE OVEN OF YOUR UNCONSCISOUS MIND TO BAKE IT. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MOVE THE DREAM AROUND OR POKE IT WHILE BAKING. AFTER YOU HAVE PREPARED WELL JUST LEAVE THE DREAM ALONE. IT IS A SHORTCUT TO MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE. LEAVE THE DOUGH OF YOUR DREAM ALONE WITH YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND.

JUST TRUST YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND...

烤夢想的麵包

想烤麵包捏麵團加入酵母蓋了濕毛巾之後妳做甚麼呢？妳會不會每一分鐘揭開毛巾用手指捅麵團以催促它快點上起來？如果妳這樣做妳得到的可能是有酵母的薄餅而不是麵包。

將麵團入烤箱之後妳做甚麼呢？妳會不會每一分鐘打開烤箱門將麵團轉來轉去以催促它快點完成？如果妳這樣做麵包會烤不成。

妳可以做的是捏麵團加入酵母。使麵團上起來的並非妳的工作而是酵母的所以妳由得麵團自己上起來。我覺得酵母也想告訴妳說不要理我。

麵團上起來了之後妳可以做的不是烤它而將它入烤箱。烤它並非妳的工作而是烤箱的所以妳由得烤箱自己烤麵包。我覺得烤箱也想告訴妳說不要理我。

實現夢想也跟烤麵包差不多一樣。決定了妳夢想的方向讓妳無意識的酵母使麵團上起來吧。夢想上起來之前妳可以做其他事。夢想上起來之後妳可以讓無意識的烤箱烤它吧。妳根本不用將麵團轉來轉去還是用手指捅。做好了準備之後妳不用理妳的夢想因為它可以照顧自己。這就是實現夢想的捷徑。付託妳夢想的麵團給妳無意識吧。

信任妳無意識吧…

English version
日本語版

Ha ha, I still cannot handle the Chinese language very well... Thank you very much for my horrible writing! If you have any suggestion or find any mistakes in my Chinese posts, please feel free to tell me! Thank you! (But irregular punctuation is intentional.)