Ego's Prophecies

My Ego is very good at prophecy.
Whatever It says comes true
Especially when I struggle against it.

It said "You are too lazy to keep this job."
So I wrote thousands of words everyday
In order to deny the Ego's prophecy.
But ended up with losing a job
Because of the laziness from fatigue.
The Ego's prophecy indeed came true.

It said "You are too stupid to live normally."
So I read thousands of pages everyday
In order to deny the Ego's prophecy.
But ended up with frikking headache
That came from maldigestion of reading.
The Ego's prophecy indeed came true.

Actually I don't have to strive to
Deny what the Ego says.
Its prophecies come true
Only because I make them real
By taking them seriously.

So I now close my eyes
And set out to explore the goodies
buried deep inside of me,
Shedding light on each of them
So that I can ignore the ranting monster.

I love this trip to my inner world
Because I am with my sweet Inner Guide.

Tags: ACIM, Meditation, NLP

Carpe Diem... Good Night!

A moment before now was now.
A moment after now will be also now.
We can only live in
Endless continuation of now.
Then I should take care of myself of present now
Rather than live in
Worries of unmaterialised future now
Or regret of uncorrectable past now.

I am helluvalot tired now.
So I go to bed now so that
I can be done with this fatigue now.
It's my carpe diem tonight.

Good night!

Something's Growing...

Very tired.
Not much inspiration felt.
But I know that
Something is quietly growing
Deep inside of me.

My sweet moon goddess
Is busy consolidating something
Deep inside of me.
But I still don't know yet
What is this something.

It's exciting to wait for
Something entirely new.

I know you are now searching
What resources to dig out
And combine with my new skills.
I can wait for a while.
So talk to me when you are ready,
My sweet moon goodess.

Eruption of School Trauma Prevented

I'm back now! (Has anyone waited for my coming back?)

Well, after finishing an urgent translation assignment by 11 p.m. last night, I tried to fill this space. But I could hardly write any word. Although I usually handle a US$100 translation job within a few hours without tiring myself, yesterday's work truly exhausted me.

I first had no idea why it drained so much energy from me. It was a copy of a primary school student's secret dossier kept by the school. Although I had to do some complicated formatting, the document hardly contained any difficult word or technical term... But it exhausted me much more than a legal document, which is supposed to be a lot more difficult than this simple dossier.

Upon completion of this job, I first felt extreme fatigue for a while. Then I suddenly felt very agitated. I wanted to rant but did not know about what. My wife said I felt agitated because of the stress the job had given me. Maybe. But I did not have a clue.

Then I happened to stare the document. I knew the reason now. It was a document from a primary school! But as I had been too much preoccupied by the deadline of the job, my conscious mind did not think about my horrible primary school days, in which my sense of belonging to my native community and nation (Japan) was utterly destroyed, and I managed to keep that to humanity... (I almost cry whenever I see the films or read anything about China's Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution because my teachers treated me in the way that the Red Guards did to so-called anti-revolutionaries...)

Well, it actually was my unconscious mind (who often manifests in the likeness of cute Sailor Mercury with the name Artemis/Phoebe) that kept the bad memory from eruption. She indeed did a very good job so that my reputation as a translator would not be tainted. But she had to endure the pain triggered by school trauma while I translated the dossier.

So I ranted a bit because she wanted to let off the steam. Then I went to bed, closed my eyes and thanked my sweet Artemis/Phoebe for helping me always...

Few Days Off...

It's suddenly got awful hot (somewhere around 30 C/90 F) and humid here in Hong Kong and I feel darn tired... I cannot come up with even a few trashy ideas during garbage collection... So I take a few days' rest to empty myself...

I guess I'll be back on next Monday.

Anyway, thank you for visiting Alaqa! blogspaces!

Waiting...

This is my holy place, the place where I receive inspiration from my Muse. No wonder I always write trashy poems... I am a garbage collector, anyway...

After a few days' frikking trash production
My soul is almost empty.
So to my sanctuary near the garbage bin I come
Hoping that my Muse would tell me something.

But alas!
She hasn't much to tell me now, either,
And just says that "Nature abhors vacuum."

Well, it's not time for me to take out more trash
But it's time for me to wait for a while
So the garbage bin of my soul is filled again.

So I keep my soul empty and wait for
A kiss of my Muse.
I don't have to make any efforts
Because I know she'll fill my soul soon...

(But I am struggling... I am making efforts to write... I can stop making efforts. I can take a rest. Relax! So that some good things fill my soul so easily and so naturally....)

My Prayer To Artemis/Phoebe

An ancient Greek inscription of "Phoebe"

O! Come my dear Artemis!
I empty myself and
Throw myself in front of You
So that You can renew me
With Your gentle energy
And illuminate resources
Hidden deep inside of me
With your gentle light.

So I take a walk tonight
So that I can recharge myself
With your gentle moonlight...

O! My dear Phoebe!
Please turn your face to me
So that I can be aware of
What I have always had
Under your gentle light.

If you are uncomfortable with Paganism, just change Artemis/Phoebe with Holy Spirit or an angel.

Pom Poko And Doomsday Cults (2)

(Continued from the previous post)

I think that things such as monsters, trolls, fairies and so on are basically the shadows of our world. The movement of Enlightenment has greatly (and literally) reduced these shadows in the past several centuries. I think it is basically good as it has indeed freed us from innumerable fears.

However, a man without a shadow is not a man but a vampire. To keep the balance between the conscious and unconscious mind, we need some mysteries or secrets. We have to embrace some of our shadows or evil, anyway, just to go on living. Just remember cute little lambs or veal slaughtered for your today's dinner...

I believe a society also needs shadows. That seems to be the reason why so many of us are interested in astrology or ghost stories even in this age of science. And every traditional society has its own shadows in the forms of monsters and such.

However, the majority of Americans do not have any natural shadow to project their unconscious mind after they drove Indians away from their native lands. And it seems that European trolls or monsters did not accompany their ancestors when they immigrated to the New World. Or they might have wanted to leave these behind in the Old World (unconsciously)...

So they only had Satan as the object of their projection of shadows. And the concentrated projection of shadow on Satan bloated up this ultimate anti-Christ. I guess that eradication of less threatening worldly spirits has ended up with making this hellish spirit so powerful that he seems to threaten the very existence of human race anytime soon.

In other words, the sense of uprooted-ness has bloated the fear to a degree that people find absurd doomsday cult so convincing…

I also guess this is something that is behind American habit of continuous search for an enemy. The empowered and bloated Satan has always had to be projected onto the worldly evils such as Soviet Union or Muslim Fundamentalism...

I think this is the reason why America has continuously produced so many Christian doomsday cults, the longing for the end of fear through mass slaughter by Satan and God.

Anyway, this is just a hypothesis that I have recently come up with. I need a lot more study to become sure about this theory... But I feel that the cure for this uprooted-ness can be found in tolerance and respect to the nature...

The movie Pom Poko ends with a song that says:

I believe that
You stand by me always.
Please remember
Your wonderful name..

Yes, we have to remember and respect the spirit of nature in order to heal our sense of uprooted-ness. It may sound obsolete and naive but we cannot be whole if we refuse to embrace our shadows...

Tags: Pom Poko, 平成狸合戦ぽんぽこ, 百變貍貓, fairy tale, doomsday cult, Jung, Erich Fromm, Studio Ghibli

Pom Poko And Doomsday Cults (1)

Well, I have to mention in the beginning that Studio Ghibli's wonderful animé Pom Poko (平成狸合戦ぽんぽこ 港譯：百變貍貓) has basically nothing to do with any doomsday cults. It simply reminded me of these. When I happened to watch this movie last night, I felt it gave me a clue to the reason why there are so many doomsday cults in America.

I am not a big fan of Isao Takahata’s animés as I feel his works are overly nostalgic about Japan of 1950-70s. (The 70s, the first ten years of my life, happened to be the worst time for me…) But Pom Poko is an exception.

This movie is about a failed uprising of small wild animals called tanukis (often translated as racoon dogs) against human to protect their homeland in the western suburbs of Tokyo. It is about the nature’s revenge against excessive urban development. However, thanks to tanuki’s comical nature, their uprising in this movie is extremely funny and cute.

(Although both foxes and tanukis play trick on people in Japanese folk stories, tanukis' tricks are usually described as dumber and cuter than foxes'. Foxes are supposed to be more sinister than tanukis but at the same time they are also revered as messengers of certain Shinto deities.)

But why does this comical uprising remind me of very scary doomsday cults? It’s the monsters, the spirits of forest, into which tanukis disguised to scare humans off from their habitat. Well, their big monster parade to spook people ended up with entertaining them, though…

These monsters reminded me of a night near woods in Minneapolis with my friend, an ex-refugee from Laos and her boyfriend, a grandson of a Lutheran missionary to India. While he said that that it was the most relaxing kind of moment, his girlfriend was so spooked that she wanted to go home immediately. But he did not understand what spooked his sweetheart, at all.

I was a bit spooked, too. Although I did not believe in monsters or spirits of forest, I shared collective memories of them with my Japanese parents and ancestors. So I asked her “Are you afraid of the spirits of woods?” Her answer was “Yes.” Indeed, Asian lives are still surrounded by many invisible monsters or spirits even though we are reluctant to admit…

I pondered why Americans did not feel the presence of spirits. Not just Asians but Europeans have fairies and monsters of woods in their collective unconscious mind. I know it from Nordic troll stories (Moomin by Tove Jansson) or Irish fairy tales. I do not think it is a bad thing…

Then I realised that Americans had exterminated the spirits that had lived with Native Americans from the time immemorial… So there still should be the spirits that had accompanied Sioux or Ojibway Indians but White Americans could not feel the presence of! And now I feel it is one of the reasons why Americans have produced more doomsday cults than any other Western nations… I am going to tell you more about this tomorrow.

(Continued to the next post)

========================================

Available at Amazon.com (Click the picture for details)

Tags: Pom Poko, 平成狸合戦ぽんぽこ, 百變貍貓, fairy tale, doomsday cult, Jung, Studio Ghibli

God's Product Liability

Why do Fundamentalists long for Jehovah's version of the End of the World, which seems to be even worse cronyism than that of Suharto or Ferdinand Marcos?

If Jehovah decides to
Destroy this world with
All the non-Christians tomorrow,
I'll make a petition to him
So that I will be removed from
His list of "To be saved."

I'll be so lonely in New Jerusalem
Because all my beloved ones
Won't be there...

And
I'll be so uncomfy in New Jerusalem
Thinking about billions of souls
Sent to the eternal concentration camp.

They cannot even perish
But Have to suffer for ever!!!
Is it the work of God of Love?

I don't think I can be very happy
When all my beloved are to be
Grilled with eternal fire.

I'd rather accompany them
Even if I'd have to be burnt forever...

God should be a responsible producer.
If He wants to put an end to this world someday,
I want Him to purify and save everyone
Not only the ones who stick to His obsolete rules
Because we all are His products...

--------------------------------

If you are tired of angry God, you can find a good solution in Finding Your Religion by Rev. Scotty McLennan introduced in my previous post. I also recommnd to such a person A Course In Miracles (ACIM), Unitarian Universalist Association or works of Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh such as Living Buddha, Living Christ.

The Unconscious Time Machine

Tardis, the time machine camouflaged as a British police call box from 1950s in BBC's Si-Fi series Doctor Who

The unconscious mind is your time machine
That can take you to any time or any place.
You only have to think about
What time and which place you want go
It'll take you immediately to
The past or the future as you wish.

I feel as if you were always
Standing by me, smiling...*

If you can feel like this
About your beloved ones far apart,
You are already a skiller driver
Of your own splendid time machine!

So talk to your Wisdom
Deep inside your mind...
Time and Space has
No meaning to Her.

*My poor translation of lines from Sunrise by Japanese pop music duo Puffy. (Available from Amazon.com. For details click the picture above.)

Tags: Puffy Sunrise, Puffy, Unconscious Mind, Time Machine Doctor Who

My Foo-bar Spirituality

It said that I might be surprised by the kinship among Christianity, Islam and Judaism, and that between Buddhism and Hinduism. It did not surprise me at all.

But how far away I have come from Christianity did. I was only 34% compatible to this Messianic religion with which I still identify myself (to a much lesser degree than 10 years ago, though). The score was even lower than with Islam and Judaism, which I feel very unfamiliar to.

This is the result of a test about which religion is the most compatible to my spiritual attitude. I took this test this morning just because I received an email from an online personality testing company when I happened to be darn bored by today's translation assignment.

It asked a lot about morality, God and the life after death. I guess the reason why I scored a

very low compatibility to Christianity is that I am not interested in what happens after I die, and that I like to find spirituality in everyday life rather than a supernatural plane. So I scored high with Buddhism; I was 71% compatible to this Eastern religion.

And I scored a percentage point higher with Neo-paganism than Buddhism. I virtually have no idea about Neo-Paganism... (Is it Wicca?) But I understand this because I have developed an extremely personal cult of Artemis/Phoebe in the past few years...

But the highest score I got was with Unitarian Universalism (80% compatible). Well, it did not surprise me because many Jung fans and modern Gnostics are said to be comfortable with UU.

Or I perhaps scored highest with UU because my test result was so foo-bar (f--ked up beyond any recognition) that any other religion could not be recommended to me than the UU mixture of everything...

But I feel now I know one of the reasons why I've had severe depression... I simply did not know

myself. How can a sex maniac like me be truly happy with Jehovah? Well, I might behave but it could only be out of fear of punishment.

But Jesus is already too familiar for me to ignore. I guess my foo-bar spirit is the most compatible to A Course In Miracles (ACIM), the Zen that Gnostic-like Jesus spoke to an American psychologist in 1970s...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Finding Your Religion by Rev Scotty McLennan of Unitarian Universalist Association was especially helpful when I found myself drifting away from Lutheranism and felt sinful... You can indeed choose the religion suitable to you. Click the thumbnail for more info about this extraordinary book. (Available at amazon.com. Please click here or the thumbnal at the top of this post for details/purchase.)

Tags: Personality test, Zen, Unitarian Universalism, ACIM

Thanks, Sigmund!

Well, I am not a big fan of Sigmund Freud and I do not believe that the unconscious mind is an arsenal filled with repressed sexual emotions. But I want to thank him about Oedipus Complex Theory...

Actually, I don't buy the theory at the face value. I don't believe that a man's psychological problems all have their root in his repressed desire to make love with his mom. It's because the theory does not make a sense with me. (I'll tell you about this someday...) But Freud's theory of children's sexual development is interesting and it helped me a lot be a good dad.

Roughly a year ago, when he was four, my son often cried furiously "I hate you! I like Mommy!" as I took care of him while my wife was out for work. Although I was very upset when I first heard this, I was lucky that I had read some Freud by then... So I could be aware that he was in a period in which a boy tends to stick to his mom and be hostile to his dad... I have seen quite a few moms who are so angry with their little daughters, who stick to their dads. But because I knew Oedipus Complex, I could avoid this kind of situation.

According to Freud, a kindergarten boy is in love with his mom until he is six and very hostile to his dad. And indeed, a kindergarten boy is as much interested in romantic relationship and in sex as a girl of the same age. It's the time a girl prematurely tries to select her future boyfriend/husband and confesses to love to him. Indeed, my son was confessed love by a few girls and he was happy with it. He also loved romantic cartoons for girls such as Tokyo Mew Mew or Mirmo Zibang.

And a small boy does have his own sexual fantasy. When my son, then shortly before five, accidentally dug into my hard disk and managed to open a nude file, he stared at it, grinning (to my horror). He then demanded me to show some more. (Uh-oh, I confessed to the entire world that I hide porn pics in my hard disk!)

So I showed him some artistic nude and gymnastic pics. (You may think what kind of sick dad am I! But that's the reason the name of this space has the word Unorthodox! But I find nothing dirty in unclothed human bodies.) He stared into these beautiful bodies, blushed and happily jumping. He got disappointed when I showed him some male nude and demanded me to show more sisters.

It has already been a year since then. Recently, he managed to dig into some nude photos in my hard disk again. But this time, he immediately closed the folder. And he stared sternly at me and said "You are so dirty!" （你好鹹濕！）Just to make sure, I showed him some pics of women in leotards or swimsuits but he showed no interest.

He is no longer big in girls' cartoons and make sure to watch every episode of Transformer. Although he seems to a bit uncomfortable with dirty pics in my hard disk, he is now very friendly to me. He has become a bit hostile to his mom, too. Now I know that his sexuality has entered the hibernation period that would last at least for five years... This also matches Freud's development theory. Now it's easier for me to have fun with him...

*BTW, Freud Bobbing Head Doll is available at Stupid.com.

Tags: Freud, Sexuality, Developmental Psychology, Oedipus

Let Them Flow

Ego works like
A cheaply made presure cooker
When your heart is filled with
Sorrow, anger or fear.

Saying that
No one would be on your side,
It tells you to contain
These negative emotions
While it cooks them into
Powerful ticking time bombs

And it detonates them anyway.

So when you feel sad, angry or afraid,
Simply open the lid and
Let your emotions flow.

It'd make you feel ashamed awhile
But it's better than living with bombs
Ticking forever.

If you try to suppress negative emotions,
You only give them permissions
To stay with you and blow up someday.

So simply let them flow.
When they flow away,
You are free from them.

Let them flow...

Tags: Thich Nhat Hanh, Meditation, Zen, Anger, Fear, Sorrow, Ego, 一行禪師


中文版:你可以不生氣（台北‧城邦文化 一行禪師著）

Shaking Off Burdens of Goodies

Breaking up with a girlfriend
Whose look made many men look back.

Walking out from a Forbes 500 company and
Starting to pick up garbage for sale.

Throwing away a pair of designer suits
And cladding like Shaggy of Scooby-Doo.

Asking for a salary cut and
Moving into a working-class neighbourhood.

Many were surprised by my repeated downgrades.
But all these have actually upgraded my life.

These goodies might've made me look happy
But they were only burdens to me.
They dragged me with the demands to be
Someone who wasn't me at all.

Shaking off all these burdens of goodies
My heart really lightened up.

I wish I could lighten up my body
Just like Shaggy
Who can stay slim despite his big appetite!
(Well, he runs a lot...)


Shaggy hanging onto Scooby's tail. The girl in front of the van is Velma. (Well, non-US visitors need some explanations...)

P.S.
Actually, I think Velma is quite cute... I like her more than Daphne.

Tags: Scooby-Doo, happiness

The Life in the World of Miracles

We are living in the world of miracles.
Close your eyes and think about
What you can easily do now.

Kissing your girl friend might be easy now.
But think about the very first time.
With your heart pounding
You might've felt it'd be even more difficult
Than to send a human to Mars.

But voilà!
When your lips touched hers
You made impossible into possible!
It was indeed a miracle!

Think about the first time when you wrote a letter.
Think about the first time when you rode a bike.
Think about the first time when you spoke a foreign language.
Think about the first time when you sold anything
To a customer...

These were just a handful of examples
Of the miracles you've experienced...

Be mindful of what you can do.
Welcome pleasant surprises for ever.
Then we continue to see miracles happen
All the time around us...

Tags: Thich Nhat Hanh, Miracles, ACIM, Mindfulness

Taoist/Zen Memo Pad

MEMO
You can print this space out and use it as a memo pad...
(Please see the note at the bottom of this post!)
































A memo pad has to be empty
So that we can write something on it...

We always need some emptiness
So that we can fill it with goodies, too!
Empty some of contents of your mind now
So that you can pour new ideas into it!

Tags: Taoism, Zen, Emptiness

Step Back and Take a Wider Look

What agitates you isn't the world around you.
It's how you interpret what you see.
Step back and take a wider look.
You'll find that you've been just looking
At an extremely small part of the world around you.

See the right extreme with your right eye
At the same time the left extreme with your left eye.
You'll find the world actually is quite different
From what you saw a minute ago.

A narrow, fixed view agitates you
While a wider view allows you
Put down your heavy and painful burden
Of fear or anger...

I wrote this for reminder to myself. But I want to share it with you because the healing power of panoramic (peripheral) view is so great...

Tags: ACIM, Zen, NLP, Panoramic View

Jung and Sailor Mercury

I am now reading Jung's Flying Saucers. Although it is definitely not an easy read and is somewhat hypnotic, I enjoy his explanation about UFOs... He says that they are modern myths (projections of unconscious minds both collective and individual) with technological cover-ups. He is a sceptic. So am I.

And quite surprisingly, I found a clue to why I saw Sailor Mercury so often anywhere I went a few months ago even though Sailor Moon had already been a thing from past. (See my previous post: Wisdom Seen in Sailor Mercury dated on 21 March 2006)

According to Jung, the Roman god Mercurius (Mercury) is a "bringer of healing." As I have started feeling that healing has been taking roots in my soul, I feel it very logical that Sailor Mercury appeared to me to tell me that I was being healed...

But why is it not male Mercurius but female Sailor Mercury? It's quite simple. For I am a heterosexual man, I want healing coming from a female figure, as I think healing is especially effective when it comes in a romantic way. And Sailor Mercury is indeed very close to my anima figure (she looks quite much like my dream girl), a short haired woman with a quiet determination...

My anima figure also matches Jung's description about mercury, the metal. Mercury is metal and liquid at the same time. It changes its shape almost freely. A boyish girl is like this; she flexibly shows both of her female and masculine sides... I find this kind of woman the most fascinating...

The combination of Jung and Sailor Mercury sounds very ridiculous for a 37-year-old man but anyway, healing of a mind often comes in a very absurd fashion...

Anyway, our unconscious minds often try to reach our conscious minds in a very enigmatic ways...

Tags: Jung, Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury

Dear Mr. Confucius

Hong Kong, 29 April 2006

Dear Mr. Confucius,

I was very surprised to hear your words during meditation. What I heard was: At seventy, I could follow the wishes of my heart without doing wrong (七十而從心所欲，不踰矩). It is indeed the goal of any pursuit of happiness!

I have been practising meditation to let go of judgments to myself and others. Although I have done this only for a few months, I feel I am happier and more peaceful.

As Jesus, my another teacher said, not judging others and myself is one prerequisite to enter the Heaven. But frankly speaking, I did not expect that you would talk to me during this no-judgment meditation.

I have been critical to your teachings as many progressive people say that you made the foundation of two millennia’s spiritual stagnation in China. But now I know such an idea is indeed a judgment.

Now I have started letting go of my judgments. Now I can more open-heartedly listen to the teachers I used to avoid.

So I'll study your words along with those of my other teachers. I believe by knowing your words, I can reach out to the people in this part of world much more easily...

I love the word I heard during the meditation. I know you are indeed one of the greatest teachers in human history. So now I would like to apologise for my long-time prejudice toward your teachings...

Sincerely yours,

Peter Yokoyama

Tags: Confucius, ACIM, Pathways of Light, meditation, self-hypnosis

My First Mandala

This is my first mandala. (Mandalas play an important role in Jungian psychology.)

It came out in relation to my previous article Yin, Yang and Unity (26 April). It symbolises the unity of Yin (Udeke) and Yang (Alaqa) by their baby (Ushana). I simply could not help myself from drawing this... It came out so spontaneously.

The triangle behind Alaqa, Udeke and Ushana seems to represent the trinity of these three elements.

Sorry for showing an eerie and badly-drawn picture. This is the very first picture I have drawn to show to other people in more than two decades...

Tags: Jung

Energy Soup in Cooking

So tired that I only want to float on a bed
Just like a sea otter on the bed of kelp.
Release all the tensions without fearing
That I'd decompose into soup of energy.
If my body wants to do so
Just let it melt into the sea of fantasy.

Floating like a sea otter
With my mouth agape
With my eyes staring blankly at the sky.
Perhaps I look like a typical idiot.
But why do I have to care about How others see me
When I don't even fear being decomposed...

Anyway I am just floating on my own bed
On the sea of fantasy without any tension.
I am decomposing my old self and
Renewing everything in me.

I am energy soup in cooking...
Tags: Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen, relaxation

New Alaqa Blogspace for Poems

I have set up a separate blogspace Alaqa Verses for my poems at the former url of Alaqa! (Eastern Unorthodox), as some readers want to read only poems.

However, I continue posting both verses and proses on this blogspace.

Anyway, thank you for visiting Alaqa! (Eastern Unorthodox)!

Yin, Yang and Unity...

Although I still have no idea what Alaqa exactly means, it already has a gibberish friend Udeke (pronounced Oo-deh-keh). I don’t know what it means, either…

But I feel Alaqa and Udeke make a yin-yang couple. Alaqa seems to be yang because “a” sound is a yang vowel in Altaic languages (which my native tongue is said to be related). Then Udeke should be yin as “e” and “u” sounds seem to be yin vowels (in Altaic languages). I feel their consonants also make a good pair…

My five-year son says that Alaqa represents the power of the Sun, while Udeke does that of the Moon. Alaqa is like a bull that energetically jumps out, while Udeke is like a careful bear. In addition, I tend to say Alaqa when I want to give myself a jump start, while I say Udeke when I want to relax. I guess they are paired mantras.

Alaqa and Udeke have been with me for many years. But recently, another mantra emerged out of blue. It’s Ushana (Oo-shah-nah). As it has both yin and yang vowels, I think it represents the unity between Alaqa and Udeke. Maybe it is a baby born between them. But I don’t know its gender yet. Maybe it is androgynous…
Tags: Jung, Chinese Philosophy, Yin Yang

The Smell of New Creation

Back to the basic... A garbage-collection poem.

Just a few hours before
It was dinner delicious and hot.
Now it's garbage smelly
That will soon start to rot.

It is indeed odour horrible.
But it was originally a sign that
Germs were preparing meal
For hungry scavenger animals.

Not many things smell
As horrible as rotten food.
Yes, we should throw it away
And let the nature do its job.

Rotting of food smells bad.
But it's actually just the smell of
The nature renewing herself.
So it's actually the smell of
New creation...

But alas, the garbage I pick
Has no farm to go back to.
It will just buried in holes
And stay there almost forever.

So the ordour of urban garbage
Is its voiceless cries of longing
To return to earth.

What I can do to console garbage's sorrow
Is to sort paper, metal and plastics
So that some of it have chances of rebirth...

Tags: Thich Nhat Hanh

Heirs to Grumpiness

I hope every grumpy old men are as playful as these two... As it's getting hotter in HK, I miss the blizzard that almost killed me in Minneapolis...

Why old men like to lament
About today's young people?
Is it because of envy and regret
That they couldn't fully enjoy
Their youth when it was with them?

A healed mind would advise
But it would not judge.
Complaints are just the sign
That one's mind wants healing.

Then what grumpy old men
Really want is to heal the past
That is filled with so many
Things left undone...

A grumpy grandad has very likely
Created another grumpy dad.
Such a dad is likely help his son
Become another grumpy grandad
A few generations later.

A broken heart can be hereditary.
But I want to leave a clean heart
To the generations to come.

So I want to heal my mind
Because I want my son to
Become an heir to a pleasant world.

So Holy Spirit,
Cleanse my soul
And help me heal my mind!

Ashehra Qaleke!

Ashehra Qaleke! Ah!
Oodook dood dood doo!

Ashehra Qaleke! Ah!
Oodook dood dood doo!

Ashehra Qaleke!
Ashehra Qaleke! Ah!
Oodook dood dood doo!
Oodook dood dood doo!

Yes, it's complete gibberish. But how do you feel now? I hope you find it funny and feel happy...

Tags: Mirmo

Do You Like a Tyrant?

Do this! Don't do that! Go this way!
Don't go that way!

Do you want someone
To be yelling at you always?
I guess you cannot take it
Even if he is a famed coach. 

You want him to know
What you feel
What you want,
Don't you?

I guess you'd jump on
Every opportunity to run away
From this tyrant coach,
Wouldn't you?

Although we don't like a tyrant
We often try to rule our own hearts
Forcibly just like tyrants.
No wonder why we always
Long so much for healing!

Be a friend to yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Listen to the voice from deep inside
That tells you What you truly want. 
When mighty power of will
Takes you to nowhere
And makes you suffer,
It's high time you listened To the whisper of your heart...


Ha ha, influenced again by a Miyazaki Anime again! This time unwittingly by Whisper of the Heart（耳をすませば　魔幻街少女）. Sailor suits! Hubba-hubba!
Tags: Ghibli, Hayao Miyazaki, Whisper of the Heart, ACIM, 宮崎駿, 耳をすませば

Power of Tongue-Speaking

I speak in tongues when I upset with my wife:
Ooshanah alekina herekena hootah....!!!

I can defuse a bomb ticking in my belly
Absolutely without uttering an abusing word.
And the chain of absolutely nonsense words
Usually ends up making her smile.
So I can defuse a bomb ticking in her, too.

Stupidity is sometimes extremely useful
Because it can often soften the tight air around us...

Happiness Made Easy

I feel a mouthful of water can taste better than a glass of fine wine after picking garbage for more than a hundred families. It does not have to be ice-cold. It just has to be water. That's what I have learnt at the bottom of a society.

The simpler your demand is, the easier it is for you to feel happy...

When you feel unhappy, try doing something you can do without thinking almost at all and you can easily see a result.

If you can draw, draw a picture that will make you happy. Draw freely because you only have to please yourself.

If you love to sing, sing your favourite song to please your ears and soul. Sing as you like because you are the only audience.

Is your sink full of dirty dishes? You are so lucky that you have an opportunity to free yourself from thinking for half an hour. You can sing if you want while doing dishes.

It is easy to get satisfaction from these simple tasks. Don't underestimate these small things. Awareness of happiness you feel from these small things will serve as stepping-stones when you pursue bigger achievements.

So do a simple thing and be happy with a good result from it. Just like a child. Yes, indeed, it is easier for children to enter and stay in the Kingdom of Heaven than for us the grownups...

Even a Cat Knows

I love giving Chinese tuina massage to my family members. Giving massage to someone is as soothing as receiving so when I feel tired, I massage my wife's legs and back. Now I know that sharing energy can activate it and giving is better than receiving.

I often give massage even to Amy, my 10-year-old cat (photo). I started massaging her a few years ago when my son (then two or three years old) started chasing her around. She became very nervous and when I patted her on the back, I often found her muscles very stiff. That's why I started massaging Amy.

In the beginning, she simply hated it. I know very well that massage on stiffen muscle is indeed very painful from my own experience. When my fingers sank into meridian points, Amy angrily meowed and bit my hands. So I had many small wounds on my hand for the first year or so.

After a few years’ practice, she now likes my massage. She sometimes lies at my feet and demands me to massage her. Although she still gets angry when I push too hard, she enjoys my massage, closing her eyes and purring comfortably.

When she really enjoys it, she rewards me with licking my hands. She licks my hands carefully to show her satisfaction.

A cat is said to be a very selfish animal. But Amy often simply cannot help herself from expressing how much she loves me. That makes me feel that loving someone and expressing love may be a basic instinct of animals with highly developed brains. Even a cat knows that loving is as good as being loved...

Hating someone or something is a part of our original and primitive design. But seeing my cat licking my hands, I feel love is also one of our fundamental desires that has been with us for millions of years. And we humans have free will to decide which we want to nurture. It's up to every one of us...

Roswell, Oh, Roswell

I watched a TV programme about the Roswell flying saucer case on Discovery Channel yesterday. The large-eyed naked "alien creature" on the autopsy table reminded a classic comedy film Forbidden City Cop starring Stephen Chow, the master comedian of Hong Kong.

In this movie, the alien creature is just a Chinese Emperor in an alien costume... It looks so much like the Roswell spaceman! Because it is the parody of the Roswell Case... So Stephen, who volunteers to dissect the "Heavenly Fairy", almost chops His Majesty's leg. Anyway, this is a great post-modern masterpiece with a lot of surprises. Definitely must watch.

Well, I have been very sceptical about UFOs since one of my middle school classmates was arrested right after he ran into a police station, saying that he was almost kidnapped by space aliens. He was high on paint thinner...

Anyway, these kids often saw UFOs, nymphs or goblins while they were high on their cheap and easily available drug. I once heard that cocaine-addicts also tend to see UFOs.

So I basically think a UFO is an external projection of mental image. I am not saying that everyone who sees UFO is a drug-addict. But I guess it is a psychic rather than a physical phenomenon.

Driving in a place like a desert in New Mexico, a person can easily go into trance and see a lot of weird things. Such unexplainable images used to be called ghosts or monsters in the pre-modern times. But people continued to see these things even after the penetration of modern science into the general public, anyway. So I guess people, who had outgrown ghosts or fairies, wanted a more "rational" explanation and put scientific-sounding wrappings of aliens or UFOs on the things formerly known as ghost and such.

Well, in a society like Japan where an ancient culture survives in the rural areas, people still see ghosts quite often on lonely highways at night... In the United States, these primitive "spirits" seem to have been exterminated upon the colonisation by White people...

Then, why several people can witness the same UFO or alien creatures? I guess these images are made in the collective unconscious and seasoned by the zeitgeist. Anyway, many people used to see the same ghosts or goblins...

Well, Carl G. Jung wrote a book titled Flying Saucers: a Modern Myth of Things See in the Skies in 1958. I will read it soon.

Musashi's Trust in Himself

Statutes of Musashi (right) and Kojiro on the site of
their duel on Funajima Island (now called Genryu-to
Island), Shimonoseki

Whew! I finally finished reading the entire volumes of Musashi, the epic Samurai novel today. It's so good that I simply could not put it down so it took only 10 days to go through 1.45 million Hanzi (Chinese characters) in 1,300+ pages. (I read the Simplified Chinese edition from Hubei Province.)

It is full of Zen wisdom and is a kind of book I would read over and over again in the rest of my life. As it is an extremely long story, I will just talk now about an episode very close to the end of the story. I love this part. I guess it is already a classic episode that many people have already known, though...

Just a few hours before the official duel with Kojiro on a tiny island, another young sword master, Musashi takes a long time and quietly draws pictures at his hostel. The people around him get frustrated by Musashi's unhurried attitude and worry that he may not really willing to fight with Kojiro. He draws these pictures for the inn's master and the boatman who will soon take him to the duel for memories.

And after he goes on aboard a boat, he starts carving an old and cracked oar into a wooden sword. He carves the wood with a short knife slowly and quietly.

He draws pictures not because he was reluctant to fight. He carves a wooden sword not because he has forgotten his own. But he quietly prepared for his duel by making his consciousness focused on manual work. As both painting and carving require high level of concentration, you cannot do these well if you think much. And it is vice versa.

When you are doing a good manual work, you are absorbed into it and very unlikely thinking much... Actually that's the reason why a Zen novice starts his training from cleaning and washing dishes.

By drawing and carving, Musashi empties his mind. He knows very well that thinking much about how he should fight with Kojiro would not help him much. After many years of training, he has learnt that the most reliable thing is what has already been completely a part of him so that he does not have to think about it at all. (Such a state is called Unconscious Competence by practitioners of Neuro-linguisic Programming - NLP.) He has decided to let his unconscious mind prepare for the duel.

Emptying your mind is a good way to achieve excellence because it is the highest level of trust you can grant to your unconscious mind. If you can do this, your unconscious mind will be so glad that she would co-operate with you, providing you with all the available resources.

Why Now After Two Decades?

A girl has been on my mind these days for an unknown reason these days. She had never been significant to me so I have been puzzled why she emerged out of blue in my consciousness after many many years...

The last time I met her was on my way to school when I was on the 11th grade. As the top of her sailor suits was white, it should be between June and September. She was on her way to another school and just said "Hi!" with a broad smile and rode away on a bicycle. It's been already more than 20 years since then... I guess I hadn't even thought about her for more than a decade.

I'd known her for more than a decade by then but I'd never felt close to her. Looking back, I feel quite strange why I didn't fall in love with her. She always wore short hair, had a pair of large and mischievous eyes, a boyish smile, flat chest and nicely tanned body and legs like those of a leopards... And she was a kind of girl who would chase after and hit a boy who flipped her skirt, laughing and shrieking wildly.

She was just a right kind of girl for me. But I have no memory that I liked her. I remember her as a very cute girl. She was also very sexy in her gym outfit. But I didn't ask her to go out with me, even though I did to other less cute girls who weren't interested in me at all.

I wonder why. I don't regret at all that I didn't flirt with her. I just wonder why I did not pay attention to my dream girl even though she was very friendly to me. I was grossly unaware of whom I really liked. Maybe I unconsciously repressed my emotions towards her for some reason...

I have no idea why she has stays put on my mind for more than few days without stirring any strong emotion in me... I don't have a clue what triggered her memory.

Why now? Actually, I haven't though about her for more than a decade! A memory is indeed a weird thing.

Anyway, I wrote about her simply because she wanted to emerge from my unconscious mind. Perhaps, I'll find a reason soon.

When a Cat Stops Talking To Her...

I am delighted that a local Hong Kong TV station (ATV World) recently shows a Miyazaki anime every Sunday. It showed Kiki's Delivery Service yesterday. Even though Kiki is a bit too young to be my anima figure, I love this story of the little witch's growth.

I guess Kiki's age is somewhere between 12 and 14, the later stage of Lolita period when a girl becomes a young woman. In order to train herself into an independent witch, she leaves her parents in a village and flies to a city on her broom. Jiji, her little black cat accompanies her on her shoulder and continues to chat with her.

I see this anime as a story of the emergence of independent self and consciousness in a young girl. In the first half of the story, Jiji the black cat chats with Kiki in the human language. I think this is a sign that Kiki has not fully developed her own consciousness yet. She can chat with her cat because the boundary between she and Jiji is still quite vague. And she can fly on a broom without thinking. She can do it unconsciously.

But after she becomes aware that she likes Tombo, a bespectacled mischievous boy, she loses her magic power. She cannot fly. Jiji no longer speaks a human language but only meows. Moreover, he goes out to court his white dream she-cat. Kiki now has separate consciousness from Jiji's. Anyway, a city is a place for separate consciousness.

It does not give one a blanket of protection and oneness that a village would provide her... Having her own consciousness, she has to re-learn how to fly, that was simply a natural thing for a witch's daughter. I guess this part of story symbolises the difficulties that an early teenager experience especially in the relationship to the people around her. It is the pain of re-birth. I guess she's lost ability to fly because she still do not know how to handle her newly gained separate self.

Close to the end of story, she flies again to save Tombo, who hangs onto a rope attached to an airship that has accidentally started flying. Now flying needs a reason and determination. She has to be fully aware of her ability to fly so that she can use it better and in a conscious manner (so she would not abuse it). But after she is able to fly again, she is accepted by the people in the city as a heroine. It is the beginning of her life as a young adult.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

Christianity almost is a woman's religion in Japan. Almost every Protestant church there has more female number than male ones so that it is awfully difficult for a Christian woman to find a husband of the same faith.

Actually Christianity is a religion of woman lib there. (It also expains why Japan's first female prime minister was a Protestant.) And one of the reason is (naturally) the Easter story that Jesus first appeared to women after the Resurrection. Indeed Jesus respected women...

I love this story because it can also free men from the unbearable heaviness of being, along with women from the unbearable lightness.

And the popularity of Christianity among Japanese women comes from mysogyny of the Japanese Buddhism and Shintoism. Well, any religion (or ideology) as a tool of governance tends to be hostile to women and the non-mainstream people...

The Lilies Instead of the Thorns

Offer your brother the gift of lilies, not the crown of thorns; the gift of love and not the “gift” of fear. You stand beside your brother, thorns in one hand and lilies in the other, uncertain which to give. Join now with me and throw away the thorns, offering the lilies to replace them. This Easter I would have the gift of your forgiveness offered by you to me, and returned by me to you. We cannot be united in crucifixion and in death. Nor can the resurrection be complete till your forgiveness rests on Christ, along with mine.
- A Course In Miracles (ACIM), Chapt. 20, I, Para. 2, Verses 5-10

A Holy Defloration?

When Jesus died on the cross, the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And then the centurion said that Jesus had been surely the Son of God. (Mark Chapt. 15)

As I did not see a clear logical connection between the torn curtain and the centurion's comment, I wondered why the holy curtain had to be torn in two. Well, it has been explained as the symbol of reconciliation between God and man. Now, there was nothing to separate God and man as Jesus died to redeem the sin of the world. This is the traditional Literalist interpretation. It's not mysterious enough and is very boring...

But I recently read an interesting interpretation. Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy say in their Jesus and Lost Goddess that the curtain was a hymen! No, it is not a typo of hymn but it is hymen.

They say that a curtain is used in a Jewish secret ritual to explain what is like for a man to know God. In that ritual, a priest opened the curtain and revealed a statute of two entangling angels. This statute showed that love of God is similar to the love between men and women. And the curtain represented a hymen. Freke and Gandy say that the curtain in Jesus' Passion was taken from this secret rite.

Then the Crucifixion could mean an act of defloration! Then who was the virgin? I don't think she was Virgin Mary. Mary Magdalene? Probably not, either.

I guess it was Sophia, the Goddess of Wisdom... Then the Crucifixion was man's penetration into the Gnosis (the knowledge of God) and makes this hymen theory quite logical.

But I feel defloration is not enough for a man to know a woman very deeply. Even if it is a symbol of marriage, it is just a beginning. Wedding is just an entrance to another level of intimacy between a man and a woman. Maybe it is a rite of transformation of hot romantic love into warm but long-lasting love. Then the Crucifixion may not be the completion of devine plan but just an entrance to a higher consciousness.

Who Is Afraid of Judas Iscariot?

Judas perished because he was so faithful in the coming of external Kingdom of Heaven that he ignored the Inner Kingdom. Perhaps, so are we.

Judas was not a Satan’s agent.
Neither was he a hero
Who helped Jesus complete his mission.
He just saw a superhero in Jesus
And wanted him to expel the wicked Romans
With Jehovah’s mighty superpower.

He was just one of us
Who long for the external Kingdom of Heaven.
He was just like the people
Who cheered at Hitler, Stalin or Mao,
Longing for the Heaven on Earth.

His end was tragic
Not because he was a betrayer
But because he was so faithful
In the coming of the Outer Kingdom
That he ignored the Inner Kingdom
Which had always been so close to him.

Why do we hate Judas?
It’s because what we see in him
Is just the reflection of our stupid selves.

Judas was just like one of us
Who cheer at Batman or Power Puff Girls
In the lazy hope for superficial peace and justice.

So I want Judas to rest in peace.
He was not evil but just far from enlightenment
Just like all of us…
Tags: Gospel of Judas, National Geographic, Gnosis, Gnosticism