Why Now After Two Decades?

A girl has been on my mind these days for an unknown reason these days. She had never been significant to me so I have been puzzled why she emerged out of blue in my consciousness after many many years...

The last time I met her was on my way to school when I was on the 11th grade. As the top of her sailor suits was white, it should be between June and September. She was on her way to another school and just said "Hi!" with a broad smile and rode away on a bicycle. It's been already more than 20 years since then... I guess I hadn't even thought about her for more than a decade.

I'd known her for more than a decade by then but I'd never felt close to her. Looking back, I feel quite strange why I didn't fall in love with her. She always wore short hair, had a pair of large and mischievous eyes, a boyish smile, flat chest and nicely tanned body and legs like those of a leopards... And she was a kind of girl who would chase after and hit a boy who flipped her skirt, laughing and shrieking wildly.

She was just a right kind of girl for me. But I have no memory that I liked her. I remember her as a very cute girl. She was also very sexy in her gym outfit. But I didn't ask her to go out with me, even though I did to other less cute girls who weren't interested in me at all.

I wonder why. I don't regret at all that I didn't flirt with her. I just wonder why I did not pay attention to my dream girl even though she was very friendly to me. I was grossly unaware of whom I really liked. Maybe I unconsciously repressed my emotions towards her for some reason...

I have no idea why she has stays put on my mind for more than few days without stirring any strong emotion in me... I don't have a clue what triggered her memory.

Why now? Actually, I haven't though about her for more than a decade! A memory is indeed a weird thing.

Anyway, I wrote about her simply because she wanted to emerge from my unconscious mind. Perhaps, I'll find a reason soon.