Well, I am not a big fan of Sigmund Freud and I do not believe that the unconscious mind is an arsenal filled with repressed sexual emotions. But I want to thank him about Oedipus Complex Theory...Actually, I don't buy the theory at the face value. I don't believe that a man's psychological problems all have their root in his repressed desire to make love with his mom. It's because the theory does not make a sense with me. (I'll tell you about this someday...) But Freud's theory of children's sexual development is interesting and it helped me a lot be a good dad.
Roughly a year ago, when he was four, my son often cried furiously "I hate you! I like Mommy!" as I took care of him while my wife was out for work. Although I was very upset when I first heard this, I was lucky that I had read some Freud by then... So I could be aware that he was in a period in which a boy tends to stick to his mom and be hostile to his dad... I have seen quite a few moms who are so angry with their little daughters, who stick to their dads. But because I knew Oedipus Complex, I could avoid this kind of situation.
According to Freud, a kindergarten boy is in love with his mom until he is six and very hostile to his dad. And indeed, a kindergarten boy is as much interested in romantic relationship and in sex as a girl of the same age. It's the time a girl prematurely tries to select her future boyfriend/husband and confesses to love to him. Indeed, my son was confessed love by a few girls and he was happy with it. He also loved romantic cartoons for girls such as Tokyo Mew Mew or Mirmo Zibang.
And a small boy does have his own sexual fantasy. When my son, then shortly before five, accidentally dug into my hard disk and managed to open a nude file, he stared at it, grinning (to my horror). He then demanded me to show some more. (Uh-oh, I confessed to the entire world that I hide porn pics in my hard disk!)
So I showed him some artistic nude and gymnastic pics. (You may think what kind of sick dad am I! But that's the reason the name of this space has the word Unorthodox! But I find nothing dirty in unclothed human bodies.) He stared into these beautiful bodies, blushed and happily jumping. He got disappointed when I showed him some male nude and demanded me to show more sisters.
It has already been a year since then. Recently, he managed to dig into some nude photos in my hard disk again. But this time, he immediately closed the folder. And he stared sternly at me and said "You are so dirty!" （你好鹹濕！）Just to make sure, I showed him some pics of women in leotards or swimsuits but he showed no interest.
He is no longer big in girls' cartoons and make sure to watch every episode of Transformer. Although he seems to a bit uncomfortable with dirty pics in my hard disk, he is now very friendly to me. He has become a bit hostile to his mom, too. Now I know that his sexuality has entered the hibernation period that would last at least for five years... This also matches Freud's development theory. Now it's easier for me to have fun with him...
*BTW, Freud Bobbing Head Doll is available at Stupid.com.
Tags: Freud, Sexuality, Developmental Psychology, Oedipus
5 件のコメント:
Hi, Peter,
Very nice post and poem....many things to ponder in this huge grey area of the human mind.
Thanks for sharing.
i absolutely support early sex education of a child. and if a son can sit with his dad/or mom and have a look at some mild nudity then the better. There are so many adults out there whose sexuality is repressed or misunderstood. Poeple sometimes do not know what it truly is and what it can be used/misued for. Healthy sexuality develops healthy people. At the end of the day it is our prime need. and if we know more about these needs the more we can understand ourselves.
btw: i am totally a daddy's girl :)
Joe: Thanks a lot for your comment.
Ana: Ja, du bist richtig... Repression usually is a mother to a very ugly emotions. But it's quite difficult to judge when is the best time to teach kids about sexual intercourse.
My initial feeling about this was, "I'm not sure that's wholesome." But I was raised Catholic in the U.S. After remembering I'm a reasonable person living in the computer age, I felt that this wasn't a bad thing. I guess I've never thought about how I would teach my son. Compared to the sexual education I had -- essentially, none -- this gets your son in touch with his humanity as good as anything. He'd probably find worse on his own anyway, so it's better to come from his dad.
Dave: Actually, me neither. Anyway, this space is quite unorthodox as its name says. The unorthodox teaching method was the reason why Mr. Keating (Robin Williams) was fired in Dead Poets Society...
But I thought it was okay for my son to know something about human anatomy. Anyway, I am from a society that was relatively open to nudity.
I don’t know how it is now but Japanese kids used to bathe together with their parents, all naked, so they were familiar to the difference between men’s and women’s bodies. It was quite common for a Japanese dad to lament “Now my daughter is already 10. It’s too bad that she does not like to bathe with me any longer…”
Cultural differences count so much in this area… (My son does not have such an opportunity as his mom is a Thai.)
コメントを投稿